literature

After mission part 5

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Literature Text

Connections

I make it back to the gateway, safe and sound. Funny though, I felt like I been there for ten years. Felt pretty crazy. And what's more is that I feel like I know Vince and Walter for very long time, even we didn't meet or say much at all…

"That's because you have been connecting to their hearts" said Crystal that could read my mind. It gave me heart attack just to hear a voice coming out of nowhere like Arceus just spoken to me.

"Ahh crystal, don't do that! You scare the heck out of me" I shout to the sky, not knowing where they could be.

"I'm sorry about that Andy, look like you found the other one right?"

"Yup and is Walter, he will be waking up now" I said.

Then I hear someone has woken "(Yawn) Ahh… that was a good nap"

"WALTER!! SO YOU FINALLY WAKE UP NOW HUH?! I'M GONNA-" Spaz out of Cross's voice

"AHHH STOP IT CROSS, YOU'RE SCARING ME!!" shout of Walter's voice

"Well it look like Walter is awake now… hey Crystal, what do you mean by 'I have been connecting to their hearts'?" I ask

"When you entering someone dream, you sort of sharing feelings to someone. Is like you are synchronize with others feelings, it recycle your feelings and theirs to make an understanding with each others."

"Wow it can do that? This is so amazing about these dreams… hey how's Frank? Did he make it out too?"

"He didn't come out before you"

"Huh, look like I've beat him… hey another question, Vince and Walter has the same abyss of darkness. What's in there?"

"What you see is where those nightmares are coming out. These nightmares are the ones who causing to their sphere hearts been missing, they eat theirs sphere and they turn something of what they fear the most." She went on

"Creating a monster that has never been seen it before. But these nightmare don't attack theirs hearts directly, they're too weak even get close to it because the hearts are full of light; nightmares are nothing more than darkness that put everybody's fear. If they get too close to the sphere, they vanish"

"Then our hearts could be fragile just like that?!"

"Oh no, it won't work like that. The spheres are like shield, they couldn't be brake just like that, and it stays forever"

"… Someone took them out?"

"… That's what I wanted to know as well. I don't know it is someone or something that could take or why they needed these sphere for… you have to find them fast" man this is serious, who could have done this? Why they need a sphere for? There mystery has yet to be solving… another voice came out that I have never heard of.

"Hey you may have yet not known me but my name is Anther, the Swasbuck that you saw? Can you find my partner?" then more voices came out once again

"Don't Forget Zola as well"

"And L… Leo"

"You heard of what Merci said now get going!!"

"Andy this is Vince again, we all been waiting for you guys come" man the more I hear those voices, the more brave I become. "As I promise you all before, I will find all of them" I said

Then Walter voice appear "Andy thank you again for finding me, please come back with the others"

"Don't worried I will" and I enter to the next door.

More info later
first page [link]

page six [link] and page four [link]

our apps [link]

cameos

Team Gifts and Scars [link]
Team Firestar [link]
The Mask [link]
The White Trash Circus [link]
Team Tots [link]
Team Fearious [link]
Team NewEnergix [link]
Team Trample [link]
© 2012 - 2024 AkioAria26
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Sanngot's avatar
Time for a monster comment.

I've been reading all of the parts up until now. I said this before, I like the premise of the story. I also got a hint of "Inception" logic in part 4. Are you perhaps using a some ideas from Inception here? Be careful, an idea is a powerful thing you know. =P

Anyway. I have two things I would like to tell you to watch for that might help you improve. It involves 2 big rules when it comes to writing.

One thing is that when you are writing the speech for one character, and then you start writing the speech for another character, you need to start that in a new paragraph. If you have two separate people talking in the same paragraph, it gets a bit confusing for the reader.

Second is the past and present tenses. If you are going to type in present tense, you need to to that for the entire paragraph. You can't switch between past and present in the same paragraph. I'll give an example:

"I made it back to the gateway, safe and sound. Funny though, I feel like I been there for like ten years."

"Made" is past tense. And then in the next sentence we have "feel" in present tense. You need to choose which tense you want to write in. "I made it back to the gateway, safe and sound. Funny, though, I felt like I had been there for, like, ten years." or "I make it back to the gateway, safe and sound. Funny, though, I feel like I had been there for, like, ten years."

You see what I mean? Generally people tend to stick writing in past tense (the first of the two sentences).

You do not need to follow this rule when people are talking, though. '"I think what he is trying to say is that you need to flip it over like this," the kid said as he walked up to the table'

"Think", "is", "need" and "flip" are all present tense, "said" and "walked" are both past tense. But this is fine, because all the present tense words are what the kid is saying. All the past tense words here are what the kid is doing.

I hope this helps. =) See if you can catch yourself on either of these two rules next time you are writing. And good luck!

Looking forward to the next part.